Grab some cocktails or mocktails, we need to make a toast to the Salem ladies that are kicking hourglass and taking names. Some are combatting trauma head-on, others are preparing for boardroom battles, some have loftier goals like owning the globe, and some are a bit unhinged but perhaps deserve some recognition for their, uh, coloring outside of the lines problem-solving skill set. Sure. We'll go with that! Whatever the driving factors, these women are forces to be reckoned with. Let's clink our cyber glasses to them as we recognize one thing that's for sure...
There's a huge problem with the DiMera brothers. They count their sisters as votes, not threats. That's also exactly why they'll likely end up picking sharp shards from their wounds when the DiMera glass ceiling finally crumbles on them. Oh, the epic looks that Megan and Kristen gave each other then "Stabi" says everything you need to know about their lethalness. They are not to be toyed with. *insert one of Megan's diabolical guffaws*
While Stefan and company can chuckle at their long-lost sister's time out from the daily grind of the family business, they shouldn't. They can recognize that Megan (and Kristen) have brought people back from the dead and performed other miracles of modern science, yet they don't stop to think of the day-to-day organization that it would take to make that happen. Megan stayed under all their "well-informed on everything DiMera" radars for decades upon decades. If she can run that kind of next-level operation in the shadows, the energy it would take to run the family business is that of a side hustle for her, at best.
And it really would be just that! While Kristen wants full custody of RACH3L (which will ironically be an ultimate punishment for Special K, as that kid -- possible AI monster -- is not the gem Kristen thinks she is), Megan wants the world. No, really. She wants Beyoncé to ask, "Who run the world?" and the answer to be, "Megan run this mutha (yeah)."
Oh, I'm Team Megan here. If there ever was an heir to the Phoenix mantel, The Artist Formerly Known as Ms. Hathaway should have it. She trained for business at his Mafioso feet and flourished in his flair for the scientific dramatics. She even named her own Queen B. Well. Her "Queen of the Night," Bo. Yep. Let's get this lady a Limoncello! I almost feel for her brothers. Almost.
It seems like Gabi has a clue not to underestimate the Sisters DiMera, but Stefan's smugness will be his weakness. I'd say E.J.'s downfall would be his smugness, too, but he's a little distracted at the moment. Will he be a dad again!? That answer is coming right up. Eh. On Monday. In the meantime...
I feel bad that Nicole's choice to tell people about her pregnancy was taken away from her. I do believe she was trying to "control the secret" to "minimize damage." That was honorable of her, even though this seasoned schemer was a bit rusty on the rules. Stop talking about said secret unless you're in a SCIF (a sensitive compartmented information facility). The DiMera living room and foyer is not a secure location. I just had to say that. Back to feeling bad for Nicole.
Okay. So, you know that query, "If a tree falls in the forest, and there's no one around to hear it, does it make a sound?" Okay, forget about trees maybe or maybe not making noise because I must ask an even more poignant ponder, "If DNA is swabbed, and there's no one around to see it, did it happen?"
You see, Sloan said she swabbed a slumbering Eric, but did she? DID she!? It happened off-screen. It's her word against a sleeping man's, who's notorious for being a sound sleeper. For all we know, Sloan could have swabbed herself or one of Nurse Whitley's dusty cats. I'm not calling her a liar, but if the swab fits...
Look, Sloan's bucked a few soap trends. She legally tried to get revenge. That's not a normal soapy thing. She's mostly forthcoming with her desires. She hasn't been guilty of anything she's been criminally accused of. She certainly weaponizes the law to her needs, and she surely rubs Salemites (and viewers) the wrong way, but she hasn't "broken bad," that we know of. Would she now to save her relationship with Eric? Would she break the law she so readily bends? Hmm!
My only hunch that she has is that Sloan doesn't seem the type to say "I love you" easily. Now that she has, would she finally fall into a soap trope to "do whatever it takes to hold on to your lover?" She had a motive to swap the swab. She had the means. She certainly had the opportunity. So, did she!?
I respect that Mar wants to support Eric (and doesn't like Sloan), but there are not many ways to rebrand the response "I love you, too," with a caveat after the fact without being the bad guy. Eric should know Sloan isn't dessert. While you can exclaim, "This is the best Tiramisu ever!" each time you eat the delicious dish, responding, "I love you, too," to a person you've recently entered a committed relationship with is a bit unfair. By "bit," I mean "a lot." It's not a phrase one should really utter "in the moment" and not mean. Doing so is, well, mean. If Sloan suspects Eric's "in the moment-ness" hesitancy toward their connection, would she snap and swap to save what she believes they have?
Still, I believe Sloan could be a "red herring" and there are several situations that could support this rogue-y reasoning. I addressed one in a previous Two Scoops. That's Colin swapping the swab for his sis (without her knowing). He's cray. He loves her. I could see this happening.
A DiMera sibling hoping to distract E.J. would also do as a culprit. Either to keep him discombobulated now or drop a truth bomb on him once his little bundle is born. Eliminating E.J. is one way to win a war for all things DiMera.
Though, E.J. himself cannot be ruled out in this. There's a reason Nicole didn't want to tell him initially. There's a reason Anna agreed to keep Nicole's secret. That's all E.J.'s E.J.-ness and his inability to act human when he doesn't like hearing something. While Nicole has a way of getting him to see that "The sun's getting real low" during his Hulk-like outburst, I get keeping Eej in the dark until one is ready for his switch to be flipped.
At the end of the day, it was Nicole's personal medical matter to share or not share, but since they not-so-subtly spoke about it all over Salem, there's a chance E.J. heard it through the grapevine. Or, say, while standing in that hallway toward the back of the living room while Nicole talked about it with Eric, or with Kayla over the phone, or just pick a time it was talked about in public.
That's all to ask, "Did E.J. already know about the baby and have the tests swapped?" After all, this swab test has some loopholes. They're testing Nicole's DNA with somebody else's. In this case, Eric. Or I should say, in this case "Eric." It seems as long as the swab with DNA labeled "Eric" doesn't match Nicole's sample, it will be deemed E.J.'s baby. Loop meet hole.
So, while Monday might have an answer to the question, "Who's the daddy?" I think by Tuesday, we'll all be wondering, "Okay, sure, but who really is the daddy!?" Answers in Salem are never so simple. That goes without question.
LOOSE ENDS:
Abe's in peril -- I mean -- purr-il! While we all love Abe -- and I will join the gang to bring him home safely (and agree with Steve that "Bargain Bin Aiden" can stay home) -- a "Crazy Stuffed Cat Lady" certainly is a twist to the Colin commotion, and I'm here for it. Kim Coles is hilarious as Nurse Whitley. Is it absurd? You bet! But sometimes, we just need to have a little fun amongst the deeper, darker side of a saga, and that deeper and darker is what Jada and Talia faced last week...
Elia Cantu's performances were just wowing! Jada's heartbreak, remorse, and rage over Talia's trauma was tremendously acted. While Jada is certainly a strong woman, I'm glad that Steve's back in town and looped in. His bestie's children may need his support now more than ever. I hope we get to see this as well as Talia going through therapy. If Marlena isn't too busy with Alex, she would be the perfect fit to help Talia, having gone through trauma of her own with another more sinister, yet just as annoying, Alex of her own.
I'm a tad sad that Tripp wasn't around to treat Talia. There would be some comfort there with Steve's doctor son helping Marcus' doctor daughter. Not that a traumatized Talia is ready to move on romantically, but Tripp would be a great guy to have in her corner while she generally recovers.
I have a theory that Leo saw Officer Henshaw as the stripper. He resembles the "British Banger" enough. Perhaps because of late nights shaking his Magic Mike, he was exhausted, and that's why Colin overpowered him. That must be it, right? Or perhaps since Colin was a handcuffed man who had just fallen from a rooftop, Officer Einstein let his guard down, like, really, really...really low. Or he's just a buffoon. That could be it.
Also, Leo and a cop might make sense together. Very yin and yang. We know that Office Idiot is dim enough to feasibly fall for la Lady Whistleblower if his baton goes that way, but maybe he's morally strong enough to check him before he gets too Leo-y. Maybe.
Johnny wants to jump-start his film career. Like, dude. You live in Salem. If you can't come up with any story to tell, that's on you. I get he's a bit gun-shy about sharing satanic stories again, but he could easily do a Stefano origin story. Maybe a precautionary tale titled "No, no, Nonno!" With DiMera past and future so prominent now, this would be the perfect time for him to explore the twisted famiglia tree.
Conversely, Johnny's pitch for a Wendy biopic made me miss the badass that initially had so much "Girl Power!" Now her strongest scenes are supporting her brother. Though she did get some points back by threatening to hack Leo! But I digress...
I'm doubling down that Wendy should work as the "gal in the chair" for Black Patch or the ISA. She could return to badass status by showcasing her savvy tech skill set rather than her lackluster lad-choosing abilities. C'mon, Wendy. We're rooting for you!
In case you haven't heard, "Bope" are settling into a long-term care facility. I wanted to update you, since it really hasn't been mentioned. I still hope it's in Alamainia and that Carly is his doctor, and Mel is his nurse.
I spoke of Sloan being a possible red herring above, but I think Alex might become one, too! We think he'll be the trouble for Steph and Chad, but I think there are two other factors here. One, Chad's jealousy. Stephanie wasn't wrong when she said, "He was a guest in my home." Alex is a tool, but be better, Chad. We know you can.
Two, they chatted a lot about Megan's little bundle of demented. At this point, his name should just be Dimitri Von Foreshadowing. Just saying.
Alex working at Basic Black makes so much more sense! He loved his work with Bella. Plus, perhaps he could hire many of his former staff at the magazine to join him, since he was so worried about them before.
More so, it's rich that nearly nobody blinked an eye when an inexperienced Philip, who was barely out of high school, was chosen to reign over Titan, but an accomplished businessperson's credentials are questioned at their every move. A person who was chosen by the same man, Victor, to run the company. In a town where "back from the dead" and "doppelgängers" could be considered "basic bitch," I think it's rather grossly misogynistic that Maggie's motives as CEO are even examined. I guess in a fantasy world where Satan slithered around and even death can't stop true love, the only dream too daring is that a woman can be in charge. Ugh. She's the boss. Get over it, fellas.
HOT
I loved Nicole's speech to E.J. and Eric! It was beautifully and hauntingly performed by Ari Zucker. I might have gotten a little misty-eyed watching.
This should have been Nicole's moment. A miracle pregnancy filled with concerns, but a miracle for her, nonetheless. I hate that her choice to tell the father on her own timeline was taken away. Her address to them was one hundred percent the reason why she chose to keep things private until she had the results. They acted like, well, E.J. and Eric together.
It's sad that Nicole had to tell them *cough E.J.* to play nicely and that the paternity results are not a Blue Ribbon to be handed to one of them as a reward for their virility. More so, she had to tell them that she needed their compassion during a traumatizing time that should have been an extraordinary reason for her to celebrate. Instead, she had to lecture two men acting like children. Like the men in Maggie's life, I have the same suggestion, "Get over it, fellas." It's not about you two right now; it's about Nicole. Shut up. Support her!
Cheers, Ari, for another brilliant performance and a reminder of how lucky we are as fans to watch your fabulous self every week!
NOT
Oh, good! Bonnie's back on the scene. And she touched Sarah's stomach without permission. That's so strange because the Big Bon Bon is so keen on consent, right Lucas? Ugh. Even when she does something sidesplitting like calling out the baby bump-sized shame Sarah and Rex struggled to secure within two seconds flat, I still kind of can't with her. She's the worst.
LINE(S) OF THE WEEK
"Let me guess. This is about the Sanderson Sisters." Nicole to E.J.
"I think Cheesecake could use a bath." Abe to Nurse Whitley
"It looks like it's five o'clock somewhere, and that 'somewhere' is here." Megan to Kristen #attagirl
RANDOM THOUGHTS
Chad joked with Stephanie, "Apparently my father never wore protection." THAT is the understatement of a lifetime. Or in Stefano's case, all his lifetimes.
Abe's "Not a clue" line cracked me up! You can tell that James Reynolds is having a hoot with his role at the moment.
Also, how much fun did you think the set designers had decorating Whitley's apartment!? That level of detail is meow-velous. Sorry. That was the last one. Still, I loved the cat tree. I just hope she doesn't have litter boxes. Eek.
I loved Megan and Kristen's little sidebar chitchat about marrying "Tony." I really, really need a midnight chat with drinks around the fireplace where Megan catches up on the entire family saga since she's been gone. Though something tells me she's not all that un-looped.
Even though a stripper dressed as a cop would better suit Officer Henshaw, something tells me he'd trip on his rip-off trousers and hurt himself.
"Stabi's" color coordination makes me happy. A few weeks ago, they channeled their Christmas spirits in red and green. Now they're in pink and purple as a possible homage to Easter. Will they try to outdo Doug and Julie's infamous Independence Day red, white, and blue attire soon? Stay tuned!
Cats Domino, Cheesecake, and the triplets. Love. It.
Sloan's right. It's not hard to pass the Salem PD's "Eye Queue" test to become a cop. If they can point to their peepers and can stand in a line, they're handed a badge. I'm now convinced that's how it works.
PARTING THOUGHTS
So, friends and fellow DAYS fans, that's it for June 5! Which of Salem's strong and sassy (or perhaps unstable) ladies will land on top? Laurisa will be back next week with more "Girl Power!" as we find out "Who's the daddy!" As always, thank you for reading, and "That's a fact."
Tony
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